Being alone
I have been spending most of the time on my own for the past few days. I guess I am the only student left in this Cripps Building. Well, of course I still have slight human contact, maybe in the library or the dining hall, not too much. I would think it is a bit scary to feel the total silence around me. The winter cold and early sunset are exacerbating the situation. Yet, I chose to be alone during this holidays as much as possible.
There are many friends who are concerned and kept asking me to go over for dinner. I even receive msn or text messages to ask whether everything is going fine here. I sincerely thank you for all the care and concern even though all of you have got your own priorities. It is for this reason that I want to learn to be alone. For my experience tells me that friends do care, but they do have priorities and they can't be with me always. Any obstacle that we face in life, be it academic or emotional, requires we ourselves to face. The decision is still on me. Therefore, I am starting to realise that life is really about facing it alone, even your best friend cannot help you.
Surprisingly, I am coping well so far. My courage has bloomed, I am not afraid of the dark, or the soundless nights. I am staying strong and keeping myself focus on studies and contemplating on my dreams. Well, I do not deny that sometimes I can really feel the loneliness and the discomfort. But they somehow go away. A friend of mine said I am actually learning some buddhism. I do agree. But he later teased me that I actually need a woman! Perhaps he is right. He explained that we are not arahants, we somehow need women. But too bad, for my case no one has volunteered so far. Haha! So, I have to brace the loneliness. But I guess I am doing fine and hopefully this way enables me to learn more about myself and be more mature and strong.
Many friends must have thought that this is weird because it defies my usual sociable self. Well, time for some rest I guess.
I have been spending most of the time on my own for the past few days. I guess I am the only student left in this Cripps Building. Well, of course I still have slight human contact, maybe in the library or the dining hall, not too much. I would think it is a bit scary to feel the total silence around me. The winter cold and early sunset are exacerbating the situation. Yet, I chose to be alone during this holidays as much as possible.
There are many friends who are concerned and kept asking me to go over for dinner. I even receive msn or text messages to ask whether everything is going fine here. I sincerely thank you for all the care and concern even though all of you have got your own priorities. It is for this reason that I want to learn to be alone. For my experience tells me that friends do care, but they do have priorities and they can't be with me always. Any obstacle that we face in life, be it academic or emotional, requires we ourselves to face. The decision is still on me. Therefore, I am starting to realise that life is really about facing it alone, even your best friend cannot help you.
Surprisingly, I am coping well so far. My courage has bloomed, I am not afraid of the dark, or the soundless nights. I am staying strong and keeping myself focus on studies and contemplating on my dreams. Well, I do not deny that sometimes I can really feel the loneliness and the discomfort. But they somehow go away. A friend of mine said I am actually learning some buddhism. I do agree. But he later teased me that I actually need a woman! Perhaps he is right. He explained that we are not arahants, we somehow need women. But too bad, for my case no one has volunteered so far. Haha! So, I have to brace the loneliness. But I guess I am doing fine and hopefully this way enables me to learn more about myself and be more mature and strong.
Many friends must have thought that this is weird because it defies my usual sociable self. Well, time for some rest I guess.
posted by Wei Shen @ 4:21 PM
1 Comments:
well as long as you're willing to ask for help if and when you really need it...
Be well Kalyana Mitra =)
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